Dear Sugar,
For the past two years, I've been dating a 28-year-old man who has two kids; I'm 22. Things have been difficult from the start because my parents, who love me dearly, do not approve of my boyfriend. They want me to graduate from college, get a job, and have an amazing future.
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Even if you’re about as easy-going as they get, disagreements among friends, family, co-workers, or significant others are inevitable. Often, through numerous conversations and a lot of back and forth, a mutual consensus can be reached, but sometimes there’s no end in sight. But before you throw in the towel completely, I have a few tips for learning how to agree to disagree.
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In the world of friendships, it's impossible to get along all the time. When conflict inevitably arises, it can sometimes be easier to run the other direction than deal with it head on. Of course, we all know that communicating is the better option, but when you're afraid of confrontation that can be easier said than done.
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The new guy your best friend is seeing has rubbed you the wrong way from day one. You’ve always been nice to him, but you get a very sketchy and somewhat controlling vibe from him.
Most recently you witnessed some strange scenes between him and your friend where it seems he’s intentionally putting her down in a condescending manner.
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When a conflict develops between two people, most of the time a direct conversation is the appropriate solution. But sometimes, such a direct approach is just too hard. When it comes to interpersonal issues, any communication is better than none, even if it's through the impersonal Internet.
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Dear Sugar,
Recently I read the post about communicating with friends if a problem arises, and it got me thinking about my own situation. Right now I am torn as to whether or not I should confront my best friend from childhood. We've always been very close and open with one another, but as we are getting older, I have noticed some changes.
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Whenever a problem should arise in a relationship, communication is nearly always the best method to finding the solution, but is that true for friendships as well? Friendships aren’t meant to be a challenge, so it seems almost counterintuitive to assume that there will be issues you have to work through, but as we all know, stuff does come up even between the best of friends. So when it does, do you just take the hands-off approach and let things work out (or not) naturally?
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Balancing priorities can be fairly tricky even if you're single, but when you're in a relationship, things can get all the more complicated. Even a healthy relationship can be both time-consuming and emotionally intense, but when you factor in any drama or conflict, it's easy for your balance to shift. I know that when I'm in a relationship and something challenging happens, I have a very difficult time focusing on anything else until it's been resolved.
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Dear Sugar,
Four months ago when my live-in boyfriend was out of town, I discovered that he had downloaded multiple videos of porn and has received numerous pictures of naked women from his male friends via email. I confronted him about it, and he sees nothing wrong with it. He said that he'd stop looking at them, but I know for a fact he's lying.
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While I always believe a struggling couple should give therapy and time a try before calling it quits on their marriage, I also know that some relationships are truly irreparable, and life is too short to be unhappy in love. Thus, while I will never consider a divorce an easy out, I think in some cases it’s most assuredly the right choice.
But every individual is different on this sensitive topic — some people I know wouldn’t consider divorce under any circumstances, while others consider it an important option when the going gets tough.
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