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9 out of 10 Agree: To Save Gas, No Left Turns Into Brothels

Tue, 07/01/2008 - 10:00am by CitizenSugar
390 Views - 11 comments

Well, it's more unanimous than Trident gum: Nine out of 10 people are expecting gas prices to gut them financially in the next six months according to an Associated Press-Yahoo News poll out yesterday.

The poll has tracked the same 2,000 people since last fall to follow how their opinions have changed throughout the campaign. The latest data shows the price of gasoline has equalled or triumphed every other issue and it has become more than a politcal topic, but a real-life problem. I'm sure you don't need me (or the AP) to tell you: gas sucks.

But! I can tell you wacky ways people are saving the gas! It involves avoiding left turns and hookers! I know! To see what I'm talking about, read more.

Expecting a package? Better hope you live on the right-hand side of the road. UPS has conducted serious studies that show only making right-hand turns saves tons of gas — nixing hanging louies saved the company 3.3 million gallons of gas last year alone. Why? Instead of sitting in traffic waiting to make turns, they can "right on red" saving time and fuel. They are allowed to turn left if absolutely necessary, though idling is a big no-no. If you're going to be sitting for more than 30 seconds, cut the engine, Mack.

Oh, the hooker-gas connection, you ask? Nevada brothels catering to long-haul truckers are seeing business drop along with the rise of gas — so they're giving a fill-up with a tune-up, so to speak. At the Shady Lady Ranch north of Las Vegas, customers can take advantage of the offer that awards a $50 gas card for every $300 spent, and $100 in gas for every $500. Gals in pumps healing the pain at the pump? Only in America.

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11 Comments Add a Comment

  • lovelie's picture
    lovelie
    1

    There is actually an initiative in madison, wi (where I'm originally from) that proposes a ban on drive-thru windows at restaurants. The original thought is that it will help the environment, however, it is also being argued that such a ban would save gas. Not so sure about that...driving around to find a parking space might be just as gas-consuming.
    http://www.channel3000.com/news/16709637/detail.html

    8 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • Jillness's picture
    Jillness
    3

    I heard on then radio that one of the brothels is having a "double your stimulus" package! If you bring in your full check, you get twice the service or something. Kind of funny.

    8 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • torgleson's picture
    torgleson
    5

    I'm so sick of hearing people complain about gas prices. We get the same hullabaloo whether it's $2 or $4 a gallon. For the average American, assuming 20 miles per gallon, the difference between $2 and $4 per gallon is only about $23 dollars a week.

    Live closer to where you work! Drive a smaller car! Or stop complaining!

    Truckers, fine. Airlines, fine. Shipping companies, yes. All directly and seriously impacted by gas prices. Everyone else just likes to complain.

    Also, just a heads up, they're going to keep getting higher. That's what they do.

    8 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • Bettyesque's picture
    Bettyesque
    6

    Sex and Beer the cheapest things left in America ... now we can add left turns. Interesting blog

    8 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • bellasugar's picture
    bellasugar
    7

    Torgleson is right. Oil prices are going to get higher and higher. This isn't a blip, either — I think it's the new normal.

    8 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • hmcmcd's picture
    hmcmcd
    8

    yeah, ok but that 23.00 a week is an extra 92.00 a month! I guess it's not the same for you but I notice almost 100.00 a month. Plus I can't exactly sell my house (especially right now) and move closer to work and I am not going to quit a great job to get a crappy one just b/c it's closer to home. I think we have a right to complain. I live in Fl, there is no real alternative to driving everywhere and everything here is pretty spread out and congested.

    8 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • LibertySugar's picture
    LibertySugar
    9

    I don't have a car, but higher gas prices can still impact me. The cost of everything you buy that requires transportation goes up when gas goes up. And don't forget air fare!

    Maybe oil prices will help local food, goods, economies flourish.

    8 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • kohina's picture
    kohina
    10

    torgleson: That $23 a week can make a huge difference to people on the fringes of poverty, who really have to stretch their income to make ends meet. It may not seem like a huge deal to the middle class, but it hurts people that are making minimum wage and struggling. Especially here in LA, where gas is $4.75 and the traffic is always awful. The cost of living here (sans gas) is bad enough...

    You are right, that all people should be expecting a rise in gas prices. I think it's a simple matter of supply and demand, and not something "they do" though. Oil isn't a renewable resource and we're quite fond of it as a nation Eye-wink

    8 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • ladychaos's picture
    ladychaos
    11

    Torgleson, just like a couple of other ladies mentioned before, an extra $100 is a big deal. I live with my parents as a student because I already don't make enough to afford living in an apartment. I live on a dirt road at least 15 minutes away from the expressway, and still have to drive another 20 minutes to work. I don't make that much over Michigan's minimum wage, and in the past two weeks, my car has eaten my entire savings. Because my parents are going through a divorce, I can't trade in my car because of whatever reasons (its a truck, and its not in my name), so I suffer greatly. I have to schedule all of my classes on the same day just so I'm not driving half as much.

    So before you jump and make close-minded statements, think of someone other than yourself.

    8 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment

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